Hello Ladies,
I pray that you all had a wonderful holiday weekend. While Memorial Day is a day of reflection, remembrance, and gratitude towards the many men and women who have fought and are fighting for our constant freedom, it is also a day of family, friends, and celebration. So, I pray that you all were able to enjoy it. Additionally, I hope that you all had a chance to relax from all the heavy cleaning and de-cluttering you have accomplished over the past few weeks. I have had so many wonderful reports about the progress that everyone has made. I actually had some progress myself.
I love magazines! They inspire me to be creative in my writing, home décor, hairstyles, make-up choices and my designing and sewing of clothes. Magazines help generate my artistic abilities. So, I have a huge collection and it is very hard for me to throw them away. However, through the past two weeks of the de-cluttering application of this blog, I have purged a sizeable amount of my collection. My husband was so happy that he graciously took all the piles to the recycling station in our neighborhood. I never knew how much those piles of magazines annoyed him. I mean, I had a small idea because it was mentioned in one of our marriage classes, but I guess I had not given it any merit. As we cleared away all those old magazines, we laughed and talked. It was great quality time as we worked together. The whole experience was a blessing to both of us. This is what I am hoping for all of us. I have committed to scanning my favorite images into my laptop instead of maintaining my collection of magazines.
Well, I think we should just dive right in this week. Some of you may not like me this week, because I have been told that I am prejudice against my own gender because of what we will discuss this week. However, everything that I believe regarding this topic is based on the word of God. These biblical principles cannot be ignored. They have been ridiculed, misconstrued, and disregarded. But, I come to tell you that I stand for truth and truth is in the word of God! So, brace yourselves, check my resources, and seek the Lord in your own time about what you are about to experience. God has a plan and purpose for all of us and it is mapped out in His word (Jeremiah 29:11 NKJV).
A Godly Wife
23 Her Husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land. 24 She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies sashes for the merchants. 25 Strength and honor are her clothing; She shall rejoice in time to come. 26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness. (Proverbs 31: 23-26 NKJV)
She is discreet and obliging; every word she says, shows she governs herself by the rules of wisdom. She not only takes prudent measures herself, but gives prudent advice to others. The law of love and kindness is written in the heart, and shows itself in the tongue. Her heart is full of another world, even when her hands are most busy about this world (Nelson 1997).
21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything (Ephesians 5:21-24 NIV)
18 Servants, be submissive to your masters with all fear, not only to the and gentle, but also to the harsh. 19 For this is commendable, if because of conscience toward God one endures grief, suffering wrongfully 20 For what credit is it if, when you are beaten for your faults, you take patiently? But when you do good and suffer, if you take patiently, this is commendable before God. 21 For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving an example, that you should follow His steps ( 1 Peter 18-21 NKJV)
Submission - an agreement between parties to abide by the decision of the authority; feeling of patience, humility, meekness; compliance (WordWeb 2013).
There are so many scriptures about submission, I could go on for days. Yet we allow society to encourage us not to submit to the Lord through submission to our husbands. The "S" word has become quite the controversy among nonbelievers and believers. Other women are usually appalled at my perception on submission, however, as I stated above, it is biblically sound.
Lets begin by dissecting the scriptures listed above. If a husband has a publically disrespectful wife, who does not operate in virtuosity as defined by the scriptures of Proverbs 31, will that husband's name be positively respected among his peers? No, absolutely not. Men possess two great fears; the fear of being found inadequate and the fear of being controlled by a woman (Shirer 2011).
We cannot emasculate our men, especially publically, and then wonder why his boss and colleagues do not respect him. We cannot demand that our men operate in a manly manner when it benefits us if we will not submit when it does not benefit us. Keep all that sass to yourself! (Ephesians 4:26 NIV). You are allowed to communicate your frustrations in a respectful manner and limit it to one time. If you continue to beat a dead horse, you are officially nagging! If your husband does not honor your request, and it is a valid request, take it to the Lord. You may also seek out wise counsel, as discussed in Lesson 1. Here is where your accountability partners, life groups, small bible studies, etc. can help you. They can offer wise counsel and pray with you about the request.
God has given us a wide range of emotions, however, we constantly focus on exhibiting behaviors from the more negative ones than the positive. We are not entitled to yell, scream, be violent, and disrespectful just because we are angry. Those are all choices. Women have been told that demanding their "rights" is the ticket to their happiness, but claiming those rights produces much of the unhappiness women experience today (DeMoss 2001). We can choose to be angry and sin not. We can also choose not to be angry. Expressing your negative feelings in a respectful manner will allow your husband the opportunity to respond incline. If he does not, then that is the Lord's problem, NOT YOURS. Remain calm, thank your husband for his opinion and leadership, then move on.
It is not our job to correct our husbands. Correction is reserved for children and subordinates. Your husband is neither! You have stated your opinion in a respectful manner, he has been made aware. Brow beating will not change the outcome. Additionally, watch your tone. Do not state your opinion with attitude and condescending tone as if he is a child or an idiot. Again, RESPECTFULLY, state your claim. I cannot stress that enough!!! Be meek and humble, respectful and honorable.
Now, I am not saying that I have this perfectly mastered. I have surrendered to my flesh and still do from time to time. However, I am diligently seeking the Lord to help me be an honorable woman of God. When I seek the Lord, and focus on Him, and not on my husband's flaws, God reveals my own flaws and I am humbled. We must be submissive to God and that will allow us to be submissive to our husbands. Fulfilling your spouse is an admirable, biblical aspiration worth striving to achieve no matter what state you may find yourself in today; even in unhappiness and dissatisfaction (Shirer 2011).
How can we not submit ourselves to our husband's authority when the Lord submitted himself into the hands of His crucifiers for us? That was a choice. He did not have to endure the grave pain that He experienced for our sins. Yet we cannot take an unkind word from our husbands, supervisors, managers, ministers, pastors, etc. We are so judgmental of our brothers and sisters in Christ. We grow to believe that we are entitled to feel no pain, to never be offended, to have our feelings be the truth. We are only entitled to love one another, pray for one another, encourage one another, and honor one another. Submission is about so much more than swallowing our pride. It is about the ability to follow, to be led, and to be teachable. If the Lord is willing to do all those things, who are we to decide not to do them.
Again, this is another lesson that I could go on for days about. I had many dreams about this topic when I started preparing this lesson. Submission is a passion of mine. I truly believe that a lot of societal problems can be attributed to the lack of role definition between the two genders that God created. It is obvious by the immediate fall of Adam and Eve. Adam was out of place and Eve bit the fruit (Genesis 3:8-15 NKJV). I have experienced so much brokenness by demanding my "entitled rights". Since I have found true submission, I am at peace that the Lord has everything under control (Mark 10:27 NKJV). Whenever I feel my flesh rising up and the adversary magnifying my so called "entitled rights", I focus on Colossians 3:23-25 NKJV). This verse puts it all into perspective. Therefore, whether you are single or married, you are called to Submission in Christ Jesus.
This week we will practice a "Seven Day Submission Challenge"! Are you excited?!?!?!?! We will submit to our husbands this week. Surrender your fleshly desires to the Lord, set free your expectations of your husband, and submit yourself to God's plan for your family. God's plan is not necessarily your picture. Get that image out of your head. Trust in the Lord (Proverbs 3:5-6 NKJV). You can do it!
NOTE: If you are practicing your 20 minutes of quiet time with the Lord everyday, this task should not be difficult. The word of the Lord should penetrate your heart and render the strength you need to be submissive. Additionally, if you normally express your frustration and/or disagreement with physical reaction, transfer that energy into a productive activity like continuing your mission of de-cluttering (Romans 8:28 NKJV).
YOU CAN DO IT!!!
I pray that you all will be strengthened by this exercise and that it will initiate new levels of intimacy for the married women and a stronger bond with the Lord for all women.
Be blessed,
T. Carter
All scripture references are extracted from The Bible - New King James Version; New International Version. YouVersion (2013).
DeMoss, Nancy Leigh (2001). Lies Women Believe; and the Truth That Sets Them Free. Moody Publishers. Chicago, Illinois
Nelson, Thomas (1997). Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary on the Whole Bible. Nashville, Tennessee.
Shirer, Priscilla (2011). The Resolution for Women. B&H Publishing. Nashville, Tennessee.
WordWeb (2013). Submission. Retrieved from the Apple App Store
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Ok, let's go!
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